The Twilight Saga: New Moon

The Twilight Saga: New Moon
Genre: Fantasy, Drama, Romance

Starring: Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner, Robert Pattinson, et al.

Director: Chris Weitz

Release Date: November 20th 2009

     New Moon, the second installment of the hit series of Twilight adaptations, opened in US theaters to poor reviews and a fan following that can only be described as fanatical.  The plot from Twilight of a teenage girl, Bella Swan, moving to gloomy Forks, Washington, where she befriends and falls in love with 17 going on 100+ year old vampire Edward Cullen, takes many twists and turns in this next chapter.

     After a birthday party gone awry, Edward and the rest of the Cullens leave Forks suddenly, shattering what little grip on reality the every angsty Bella may have had.  Only her friendship with Quileute tribesman Jacob Black keeps her from falling completely off the deep end.  There's one problem with that, though.  Jacob and several of his fellow tribesmen are Werewolves, and to add to that, they are the sworn enemies of all blood suckers.  Sounds like every other love triangle, right?

     I feel it prudent to say early on that I read all four Twilight books some time ago (that's right, I really WILL read anything once).  Therefore, there was not a single plot twist that I didn't see coming.  Since I'm not an impartial judge of their effectiveness on New Moon virgins, and in the interest of fairness, I am excluding them from my discussion and rating of the movie.  Instead, I'm going to jump straight to the actors.  Really, all special effects and plot twists aside, this is a love story, and the actors are the heart and soul of it.

     What can I say about Kristen Stewart that doesn't violate the "If you can't say something nice..." rule?  Unfortunately, not much.  I don't know where she studied acting, but someone really needs to tell her that scoffing, mumbling, sighing, and making prolific use of the "awkward pause" do NOT make you an actor.  They're called levels, folks, and she lacks them entirely.  She is so bad, she borders on he point of being physically painful to observe, and through both of the first two installments, I constantly found myself wondering what the fuss was about.  These two are nearly invulnerable, powerful, mythical creatures, and they are obsessing and fighting over someone with the emotional range of a soft taco.

     Playing her bloodsucking suitor is Robert Pattinson.  Let me say up front that I do think Pattinson is a talented actor.  Maybe it was the material, or his costar, or his lack of screen time, but it simply doesn't come through for me in this at all.  He very nearly played Edward as a statue, and it is really disappointing for me to see.

     On the other side of the triangle is Taylor Lautner as Jacob Black.  While his acting isn't stellar, he at least shows some depth and emotional range.  Also, his physical acting (including his stunt work) stands out so far beyond that of his costars that it starts to look award worthy.  In fact, the Quileutes/Werewolves as a whole really stood out for me.  The actors all had such life, he really seemed like a family, like a bunch of kids thrust into a strange situation and trying to cope.  They were very convincing, and the necessary familial and tribal bonds of the characters were present and a very nice touch.

     As for the Vampires, they were hit and miss.  Some were pleasantly surprising, like Carlisle (Peter Facinelli) and Esme (Elizabeth REaser).  They did nice jobs in this, as they did in Twilight.  Some, like Emmett (Kellan Lutz) and Jasper (Jackson Rathbone) just came across as wooden and forced (as they did in Twilight).  And some, like Alice (Ashley Greene) were good or bad depending on the scene.  I will say that Michael Sheen , who you may know as the Lycan leader Lucian in Underworld (yep, he played a werewolf, now he's a vampire) was genuinely creepy, but he is an outstanding actor.  I almost think it was a mistake to have such a heavy hitter as him in the mix, as it really just highlighted for me the shortcomings of much of the rest of the cast.

     The effects were outstanding, to say the least.  The wolf transformations and vampiric speed effects in particular were top notch.  The directing and cinematography were certainly better than Twilight, (though the music was NOT), but not by much.  This is, after all, the director who brought us the abomination that is American Pie.

     Overall, it was definitely an improvement over Twilight.  Even Stewart improved, albeit minutely.  In fact, only Pattinson really seemed NOT to improve, though again, that may have been the fault of the script or his minimal screen time.  It is an effects driven movie, and if you go into it from that perspective, (or are a Twilight nut), you will not be disappointed.  If only I fell into one of those two categories.

Acting: 2 out of 5
Effects: 4 out of 5
As An Adaptation: 3 out of 5
Overall Rating: 3 out of 5

JCVD

JCVD
Genre: Drama

Starring: Jean-Claude Van Damme

Release Date: June 4th 2008







     What happens when an action star gets caught in the middle of a real life bank robbery?  JCVD happens.

     After staring down the barrel of a faltering career and losing custody of his daughter in a drawn out divorce, Jean-Claude Van Damme has hit rock bottom.  His bank cards don't work, and his life has fallen to pieces.  Going to the bank to try and pick up a deposit, Van Damme accidentally walks into the middle of a hostage situation.  If that weren't enough, the police think HE is the culprit, a failed celebrity making one last desperate grasp for control.  While a mob of his fans shout his praises outside, and the police try to figure a way to take him out, Van Damme must put himself to the test, and find a way to not only get himself out safely, but the other hostages as well.

     On the case for the DVD is this quote from "Time, Magazine".

     "He deserves not a black belt, but an Oscar."

     Anyone feel a huge sense of trepidation at that statement?  I know I did.  Despite a childhood spent watching, enjoying, and emulating Van Damme's movies and moves, I have always been aware this fact; if Van Damme is known for one thing, it is NOT acting.  In my experience, the only times "Jean-Claude Van Damme" and "acting" occur in the same sentence is when they are the setup for a punch-line.

     Of the three versions contained on the DVD, I watched the theatrical cut.  Quite frankly, I wanted to see what "Time" saw.  I hoped by doing so, I would be able to discern just how far the heads of their contributing writers had been crammed up their collective keysters.  As you can tell, despite having heard good things about the film, I remained skeptical as long as I could.  And believe me, it wasn't very long at all.

     Throughout his career, we have seen Van Damme be the hero almost to exclusion.  But I can't think of one other time he has been not just a prototypical "good guy", and instead was a good MAN.  That is exactly what he has given us.  No flashy kicks, no "witty" one-liners.  He is just an ordinary man in an extraordinary situation.  This is, without question, the defining point of his career, and not for one second does he disappoint.

     Van Damme shows not only a depth of feeling and ability that was unexpected, but the very notion of which has long been considered laughable.  From trying to look out for his fellow hostages, to his unending attempts to try to convince at least one of his captors to do the right thing, he shows in alternating doses dignity, resolve, and strength.

     One scene in particular truly blew me away, and solidified the "Time" quote as fact for me.  Towards the end of the film, Van Damme has a few minutes alone with the audience.  It is an emotional monologue, shot in one take, that breaks your heart and truly makes you feel for him in a way you never thought possible.  It is a side of him that is refreshing and awe-inspiring to see.  He talks of fame, addiction, a wasted life, and what it means to be nothing more than a fading memory.  One line in particular really stuck with me.  Said with tears in his eyes, and quite obviously on the verge of a breakdown, Van Damme says;

     (Translated from French)
     "It's hard for me to judge people.  And it's hard for them not to judge me.  Easier to blame me..."

     Believe it or not, Van Damme can not only act, he can do a truly brilliant job of it at that...

Concept: 3.5 out of 5
Execution: 4.5 out of 5
Van Damme's Performance: 5 out of 5
Overall Rating: 4.5 out of 5

The Blind Side

The Blindside
Genre: Drama

Starring: Quinton Aaron, Sandra Bullock, Tim McGraw, Kathy Bates

Release Date: November 20th 2009

*Contains Spoilers*










     I am, as a general rule, very skeptical about sports movies.  If you know me, you know I've watched maybe three football games in my life.  I've seen one live sporting event (KU Basketball back when Jacque Vaughn was on the team), and when I watch a trailer for a sports movie, I start having "Mighty Ducks" flashbacks.  So, when my wife decided she wanted to see this for her birthday, I felt like I was borderline for a pretty serious panic attack.  I went, though, and I am so glad I did.

     The Blind Side is the story of Michael Oher, who was a first draft NFL pick in 2009, and is now a defensive tackle for the Baltimore Ravens (thank you Wikipedia!).  The movies isn't about his still very short professional career, though, but about his life leading up to it, with some events and places fictionalized.  Growing up in Memphis, Tennessee, Oher was a ward of the state and a runaway from numerous foster homes.  He was a quiet boy of tremendous physical stature and, as far as anyone could tell, a severely limited intellect.  He had a 0.6 GPA upon entering the Wingate Christian School.

     Michael was your everyday hard luck case that you hear about or see about so often these days.  A broken home, an absent father, a mother addicted to drugs, and the victim of numerous other tragedies no young person should have to suffer.  When he is taken in by the Tuohy's, whose children also attend Wingate, they all expected it to be just a place to stay for a night or two.  Instead, their bond grows, and they eventually  welcome Michael fully into their family.  By the end of the film, he even calls Leigh Ann (the Tuohy matriarch) "Mama".

     Michael is played by Quinton Aaron.  This is Aaron's first big screen role, and that can easily be an intimidating experience for a young actor.  The pressure can affect the performance, and with a story this heavy, it would have been easy for his portrayal to turn withdrawn or maudlin, but Aaron does neither.  He shows confidence throughout the film, even when doing so means showing just how little confidence his character has.  From the opening credits to the last line, he stayed true to his character and drew me entirely into his world.  I felt for him, I (almost) cried for him, and I cheered for him like he was a close friend.  As the character grew and came out of his shell, it only got better.

     Sandra Bullock (who is nominated for an Oscar for her performance) plays Leigh Ann Tuohy.  Severe and standoffish, she is a wealthy woman who not only knows what she wants, but tends to get it.  There is another dimension to her, though, just below the surface.  One that is warm and giving, who happily changes a young man's life and asks for nothing in return.  This is a bit of a departure for Bullock, whose catalog of romantic comedies has often put her squarely on the opposite end of the spectrum from the aloof Tuohy.  Even in The Proposal, the humor overwhelmed the careful balance Bullock had between being the kind person, and the human wall.

     Not in The Blind Side.  Her flair, attitude, and innate kindness come across perfectly.  She is inspiring in her portrayal, and she absolutely deserves her nomination.

     Tim McGraw is Sean Tuohy, a successful restauranteur (albeit of chains like KFC and Taco Bell).  He is often the voice of reality and reason to Bullock's character, and as a result, he is often ignored.  But he is every bit as kind, and he has the added bonus of being able to be overtly humorous.  Kathy Bates is Miss Sue, Oher's tutor and friend, a unique woman who warns the Tuohy's "I'm a Democrat," and gives Michael the tools to become the student, and the man, that he wants to be.

     With a slew of actual NCAA coaches lending their names and faces, the film gains an added level of honesty and truth, reminding us that this story not only happened, but happened recently.  The movie concludes touchingly, with footage of the real Michael Oher being drafted into the NFL, as well as with photos of him with the real Tuohy family.

     I am so glad I gave it a chance, and I advise you to do the same.  Who knows, maybe one of you will be inspired to help the next Michael Oher.

Story: 4 out of 5
Performances: 4.5 out of 5
Overall Rating: 4.25 out of 5